My Top 10 Reasons Dad is Cool (This Year)

I suspect Mom had some influence in a few of these things, too.

10. Dad raised five children... and never once owned a minivan. Or a station wagon. Just a flippin' sweet gold Burb with faux wood side panels and bench seats, baby.
9. Just a month or so after my mission, Dad “helped me buy” the Toyota Corolla I still drive to this day, the one I can’t part with because it’s like a member of the family now.
8. He allowed the aforementioned five children to draw during church, or solve math problems on the back of the program, or play quiet games like my favorite: “boxes”.
7. Dad used to give us “scratch paper” from work: whole reams of pure white cotton-fiber stuff with nothing but the IBM logo on it. I’m assuming of course that was the old, obsolete IBM logo...
6. He actually used to sell those awesome reel-to-reel computers like you see in the old James Bond movies, the kind with about as much processing power and memory as a six-dollar calculator has today.
5. Dad let us play video games on his own very first IBM PC. And then there was the Atari and the Nintendo. Sometimes we played games way into the night, occasionally burning incense while watching SNL and laughing loudly.
4. Dad bought me that expensive ski suit just like Cameron Egan had, the black one with the hot pink and fluorescent blue patches that I only used for one season before outgrowing it. I still feel guilty about all his money I wasted.
3. He kept letting us get more kittens every few years even though he was allergic and most of them disappeared mysteriously or suffered violent accidental deaths.
2. In one of our two houses on Millbrook Way, Dad gave me the bedroom with the nook that was the perfect size for my drawing desk, conveniently accommodating my bed and that huge stereo to fill up the rest of the room.

But our Dad did much more than buy things and let me get away with adolescent dissolution...

1. He encouraged me to use my gifts and hard work to get good grades and play in the band, which he prophetically claimed could help you get a scholarship to college. And that might allow you to land a job that’s kind of like a glorified hobby where you get paid to do stuff you actually enjoy doing, like drawing and playing video games! Can you imagine?

Thanks Dad. We love you and we owe you more every year.

: jk

P.S.: Just for old times' sake...

Scotland and London and Paris, Oh My!

I finally got out to see a little bit of the world last month! Yes, it's sad but true, it took me 35 years to get overseas! So now I can't use my favorite line when playing that party game "I've Never..."

Kim and I went on vacation for 10 days, to Scotland and London.

First of all, I must say, if you want to avoid jetlag - I've got one word for you: Melatonin! This stuff is amazing! Kim and I each took one pill after each flight, at bedtime at our destination, and experienced zero jetlag in either direction! Amazing...really you should try it.

Kim served a mission in Scotland from '94-'96, and the #1 item on my "Honey Do" list for the last 11 years has been "Ryan, take me back to Scotland some day?!" Well last month I accomplished Honey Do #1. I've only got 738 more to go...

Scotland was really cool. Kim had several friends there from her mission, and they all remembered her and said she hadn't changed a bit!

We stayed in B&Bs every night. It was a lot of fun. Much better (and cheaper) than it would have been in a hotel, I'm sure. After checking into our first B&B, we met up with Liz and Nancy, both from the Bo'ness area. This area had the most difficult accent - I only caught about 60% of what was being said, and I think even Kim was struggling at times to keep up, even though she'd spent a lot of time there! Liz and Nancy both came along with us to see some castles in the Edinburgh area. ..

Edinburgh Castle

Liz and Nancy didn't go in the castles with us, because Liz absolutely HATES castles! But she was a good sport - they sat in the car, and wandered around the grounds while Kim and I spent a solid hour or two at each one. Doune Castle is where some of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" was filmed. Remember the "outrageous French accent" guy, throwing insults and livestock from the battlements??? And the 'Trojan Bunny'? That's Doune castle. They had just had a Monty Python party the week before there, which we missed, but they had some Coconuts shells left over at the gift shop, so of course I bought a pair! And of course I sent them home by attaching them to two unladen European swallows...

Doune Castle - "Shall I Taunt You a Second Time?"


Recently Restored Great Hall at Stirling Castle


A Visit From Herbie at Stirling Castle!!!

We thought the castles were cool (you just don't get 1000 year old buildings in America). We spent about 3 days in the Edinburgh area, where we practiced driving our rented (by luck free upgrade - yeah!) Audi A4 on the wrong side of the road, err...I mean, the left side. We saw a bunch of stuff in the Edinburgh area, including the Firth of Forth bridge, the William Wallace Monument, Linlythgoe Palace, the Royal Mile, Chapel Rosslyn, etc....

Firth of Forth Bridge - First Steel Construction Bridge in World

William Wallace Monument


William Wallace Sword - Too Big For Mel Gibson!
They say Wallace must have been about 6'7" to wield this sword...


246 Spiral Steps To The Top!




Piper Doon! We Have A Piper Doon!

Chapel Rosslyn - True Resting Place of the Holy Grail???

Next we headed up north, to see the #1 tourist attraction in Scotland. Can you guess? It's Ness! Loch Ness that is! Home of Nessie, mystery of the deep. But before we got to Loch Ness, we made a stop at Highland Audi to get a new wiper arm for our rental car, to replace the one that was about to fall off. Thanks to my newly acquired Garmin Nuvi GPS, we found the Audi place, no trouble! We love this thing! It will even talk to you - in about 30 different languages! And 5 or 6 different English accents - your choice! Well worth the investment: "Enter roundabout, then take the fourth exit..." Much easier than dealing with paper maps...and if you mess up and take the wrong exit, it doesn't get mad, it just says "recalculating...in 0.3 miles, turn right on A12"...very cool use of technology!

Garmin nuvi - Never Leave Home Without It!

So we got to Loch Ness, and hopped on a boat, for a little 60 minute tour of the lake. I took a few snapshots, but haven't found Nessie in any of them yet...can you see her????

"Loch Ness...Big Enough to Hold Every Human Being on Earth Three Times Over, and Still Have Enough Room Left Over For a Few Mysteries..."

Then Kim, (aka Wonder Woman) caught a rainbow, which is always fun...

My Bonny, Blue-E'yed Lassie...

We next drove down the west coast, through the Highlands, which was the funnest driving experience I think I've ever had - racing down a gentle slope, winding back and forth through mistly, lush, green hills, with rock and waterfalls springing forth out of nowhere. We were hoping to get to the Eilean Donan castle in time to take a few photos, on our way to our B&B that night on the Isle of Skye...and we couldn't have timed it better! We rounded a corner, and lo and behold, there was Eilean Donan, in all of it's Medieval Glory (with modern artificial lighting, of course!)

Eilean Donan Castle - Makes Even a Bad Photographer Look Good!

We stopped to take a few photos and take in the scenery, then made our way to Skye.

Castle Ruins - Isle Of Skye, Scotland

Spent the night on Skye, then some time touring Eilean Donan in the daytime, then headed down to our next destination: Dumfries. This was an area where Kim lived for several months. We knocked unannounced on the Jameses home, a couple Kim lived with on her mission for a few months (we didn't have their address or phone number, but managed to find their new house anyway - it's a small farm town - real small...) They were very happy for the surprise visit, and we spent a few hours talking to them, and even got treated to spaghetti dinner! Not exactly Scottish fare, but we'd had plenty of Scottish fare already, so it was a welcome change...

We then hopped in the car and went to see a couple more of Kim's friends from the mission. They all remembered her, and every one of them still had mementos that Kim had left behind - pretty incredible after 11 years! Unfortunately we were having such a great time, we forgot to get our camera out and take some photos...I guess our memories will have to suffice.

The next morning, we headed down to Preston, to attend the temple there, and another friend from Kim's mission, Kathy Dunachie, who works at the temple visitor housing facilities. We spent the afternoon and evening there.

Preston, England Temple

In the morning, we headed down to our next destination, Stratford-Upon-Avon, the birthplace of William Shakespeare...

Stratford-Upon-Avon, Warwickshire, UK

We spent a relaxing afternoon checking out the touristy spots, and soaking in the atmosphere. We went to a play that night, a performance of 12th Night by the Royal Shakespeare Company, and were pleasantly surprised to see that American actor John Lithgow was starring in the play!

Malvolio - John Lithgow

Lithgoe played the snooty, yellow-stockinged (cross-gartered) Malvolio, and absolutely stole the show! At one point in the performance, Malvolio throws a ring on the ground, to return it to a man who was wooing his employer. The ring bounced right off the stage, and landed next to a lady's foot in the front row. Without missing a beat, Lithgow improvised a way to retrieve the ring, without breaking character (flicking his head at the lady who grabbed it off the ground), and carried on with the scene:

MALVOLIO Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her will is, it should be so returned: (throws ring) if it be worth stooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.

(at this point Lithgoe threw a not-so-subtle glance at the lady who had 'found' it in the first row...)

The kind of scene you only get in a live setting. It was magic! Despite the overt statements the director was trying to make about homosexuality and cross-dressing (he cast 4 characters in opposite-genders, and the written program was filled with gay-friendly articles about Twelfth Night and whether Shakespeare was making some sort of a statement...) the play was very well done, and Lithgoe's performance alone was worth the price of admission.

We spent that night in Stratford, then made our way into London the next morning. Thankfully, it was a Saturday, so not too many people around the city, and no need to pay the "congestion fee" that everybody has to pay that drives into the heart of the city on weekdays. It's something like 8 pounds a day - or $16 USD, which is the same cost as two one-way subway tickets.

King's Cross Station. Luckily, Our Son Jordan Warned Us Not To Attempt Entering Platform 9 3/4, Pointing Out That We Were Inexperienced Muggles, And Would Surely Fail...

Speaking of subway tickets, London is really expensive! Maybe it was just the weak dollar, but everything was about twice as expensive as it seemed it should have been. The subway was 4 pounds one way, or $8. In Paris it was about 1.1 Euro, or $1.50. We really enjoyed London, but if I lived there I'd need a signficant pay raise! We only had about 24 hours to spend in London, so we did a quick whirlwind tour involving a bus and a boat, but did manage to visit a few places like the Tower Bridge, and the London Eye.

Tower Bridge

Look Kids! Big Ben, Parliament!

British Airways 'London Eye' Ride - We Took A Ride At Dusk
Incredible Views From Up There!

Big Ben at Dusk

I think Kim's favorite part of London though, was probably Westminster Bridge. Not because of the bridge, but because of the street vendor selling custom-made bent-metal thingys - she bought one for each of our kids for 4 pounds apiece. The guy made all three in under 5 minutes! At that rate he was making $300 USD per hour (or $600k / year!) That's assuming he can keep that rate up for 8 hours a day of course, which is unlikely...but he did have a pretty good crowd of buyers gathered round...

Magic Metal-Bending Westminster Bridge Dude...

Some Bendy Metal + A Pair of Needle-Nose Pliers = $600k / year...Not a Bad Gig!

Reuters Plaza, Canary Wharf Business District, London

Anyway, at this point I had to say goodbye to Kim and send her home to the kids so I could continue with my business trip in London and Paris the next week, but we had a great time, and I think Kim might even go to another play with me someday now!

There's a lot we didn't get to see. We focused mainly on Scotland this time. We'll have to go back and do London right next time... and/or Paris.

We missed our kids, but they didn't miss us much. They do hug us a lot more now though...I think they're a little worried I'll disappear for 16 days again...

Here's a few shots from Paris, which I didn't do properly, since I only had three working days there, and not much free time...

European "Smart Car". In America, this is called a 'Speed Bump'

The Louvre!



Venus Di Milo

Arc de Triomphe

Eiffel Tower at Night (with rotating giant inflated Rugby ball in the middle)


Who Knew Jazz Was So Big In Paris?
So Many Jazz Clubs, So Little Time...