Look Mom! I’m a Blogger!

My NBA.com blog is live!

http://my.nba.com/forum.jspa?forumID=400032740

Their editor is completely primitive. It's like using Microsoft Notepad. Actually it's worse. If I cut and paste from Notepad into this little NBA editor thingy, it messes up the formatting. It takes HTML, but with a few twists – so you can't just write in an HTML editor and then cut and paste from it either. It's gonna take some getting used to…

But anyway, I'm live! I'm bloggin' like Gilbert Arenas!

I just can't tell if anybody is reading it or not…what do you think? Yeah, you're right, I shouldn't quit my day job. At least not yet…

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Cataclysmic Converter

Today I took the boys "down the mountain" to get my catalytic converter replaced. What is a catalytic converter you might ask (if you were Ethan, you would also want to know what it does and how it does it). I recently found out that a catalytic converter is part of the exhaust system and affects the emissions of your vehicle. I also recently learned a great deal more.

On the way to the dealer, Ethan began questioning: "What needs to be fixed?"

The Catalytic Converter.

"Why?"

It's broken.

"What does a catlic coverder do?"

It takes the smoke that the engine makes when it burns gas and makes it less dangerous to breath before it comes out the exhaust.

"How does it do that?"

I don't know.

"I know you know, so just tell me how!"

I really don't know. Mom doesn't know everything sweetheart, maybe we can stop by the library on the way home and get a book about it.

"Let's go to the library right now!"

We've passed it and we're late for our appointment, so we'll go after.

"TURN AROUND AND GO TO THE LIBRARY NOW!!!!"

Do you want a swat on your bottom?

I digress.

So, we left the car and attempted to walk the boys across the street to play at the playground. We didn't get 10 feet before they began fighting in the stroller. This resulted in time-outs in the parking lot, an embarrassing 45 minute melt-down amidst the new RAV4s and FJ Cruisers, and spankings. It was ugly ladies and gentlemen.

When we finally left with our new catalytic converter, we did indeed stop by the library.

I spent 30 minutes trying to find a book to explain how a catalytic converter works. To no avail.

"Mom please!! You have to find a book about calykit verters!"

So we settled for a book on how cars work that just didn't have enough detail, a manual for building your own car from the adult non-fiction section and a promise to search it out online. So, for anyone who is wondering, here are the basics of the catalytic converter.

So now, if someone could just invent a "cataclysmic converter" that would take a toxic tantrum and reduce it's hazardous effects on the surroundings I'd be very grateful.

My Top 10 Reasons Dad is Cool (This Year)

I suspect Mom had some influence in a few of these things, too.

10. Dad raised five children... and never once owned a minivan. Or a station wagon. Just a flippin' sweet gold Burb with faux wood side panels and bench seats, baby.
9. Just a month or so after my mission, Dad “helped me buy” the Toyota Corolla I still drive to this day, the one I can’t part with because it’s like a member of the family now.
8. He allowed the aforementioned five children to draw during church, or solve math problems on the back of the program, or play quiet games like my favorite: “boxes”.
7. Dad used to give us “scratch paper” from work: whole reams of pure white cotton-fiber stuff with nothing but the IBM logo on it. I’m assuming of course that was the old, obsolete IBM logo...
6. He actually used to sell those awesome reel-to-reel computers like you see in the old James Bond movies, the kind with about as much processing power and memory as a six-dollar calculator has today.
5. Dad let us play video games on his own very first IBM PC. And then there was the Atari and the Nintendo. Sometimes we played games way into the night, occasionally burning incense while watching SNL and laughing loudly.
4. Dad bought me that expensive ski suit just like Cameron Egan had, the black one with the hot pink and fluorescent blue patches that I only used for one season before outgrowing it. I still feel guilty about all his money I wasted.
3. He kept letting us get more kittens every few years even though he was allergic and most of them disappeared mysteriously or suffered violent accidental deaths.
2. In one of our two houses on Millbrook Way, Dad gave me the bedroom with the nook that was the perfect size for my drawing desk, conveniently accommodating my bed and that huge stereo to fill up the rest of the room.

But our Dad did much more than buy things and let me get away with adolescent dissolution...

1. He encouraged me to use my gifts and hard work to get good grades and play in the band, which he prophetically claimed could help you get a scholarship to college. And that might allow you to land a job that’s kind of like a glorified hobby where you get paid to do stuff you actually enjoy doing, like drawing and playing video games! Can you imagine?

Thanks Dad. We love you and we owe you more every year.

: jk

P.S.: Just for old times' sake...

Scotland and London and Paris, Oh My!

I finally got out to see a little bit of the world last month! Yes, it's sad but true, it took me 35 years to get overseas! So now I can't use my favorite line when playing that party game "I've Never..."

Kim and I went on vacation for 10 days, to Scotland and London.

First of all, I must say, if you want to avoid jetlag - I've got one word for you: Melatonin! This stuff is amazing! Kim and I each took one pill after each flight, at bedtime at our destination, and experienced zero jetlag in either direction! Amazing...really you should try it.

Kim served a mission in Scotland from '94-'96, and the #1 item on my "Honey Do" list for the last 11 years has been "Ryan, take me back to Scotland some day?!" Well last month I accomplished Honey Do #1. I've only got 738 more to go...

Scotland was really cool. Kim had several friends there from her mission, and they all remembered her and said she hadn't changed a bit!

We stayed in B&Bs every night. It was a lot of fun. Much better (and cheaper) than it would have been in a hotel, I'm sure. After checking into our first B&B, we met up with Liz and Nancy, both from the Bo'ness area. This area had the most difficult accent - I only caught about 60% of what was being said, and I think even Kim was struggling at times to keep up, even though she'd spent a lot of time there! Liz and Nancy both came along with us to see some castles in the Edinburgh area. ..

Edinburgh Castle

Liz and Nancy didn't go in the castles with us, because Liz absolutely HATES castles! But she was a good sport - they sat in the car, and wandered around the grounds while Kim and I spent a solid hour or two at each one. Doune Castle is where some of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" was filmed. Remember the "outrageous French accent" guy, throwing insults and livestock from the battlements??? And the 'Trojan Bunny'? That's Doune castle. They had just had a Monty Python party the week before there, which we missed, but they had some Coconuts shells left over at the gift shop, so of course I bought a pair! And of course I sent them home by attaching them to two unladen European swallows...

Doune Castle - "Shall I Taunt You a Second Time?"


Recently Restored Great Hall at Stirling Castle


A Visit From Herbie at Stirling Castle!!!

We thought the castles were cool (you just don't get 1000 year old buildings in America). We spent about 3 days in the Edinburgh area, where we practiced driving our rented (by luck free upgrade - yeah!) Audi A4 on the wrong side of the road, err...I mean, the left side. We saw a bunch of stuff in the Edinburgh area, including the Firth of Forth bridge, the William Wallace Monument, Linlythgoe Palace, the Royal Mile, Chapel Rosslyn, etc....

Firth of Forth Bridge - First Steel Construction Bridge in World

William Wallace Monument


William Wallace Sword - Too Big For Mel Gibson!
They say Wallace must have been about 6'7" to wield this sword...


246 Spiral Steps To The Top!




Piper Doon! We Have A Piper Doon!

Chapel Rosslyn - True Resting Place of the Holy Grail???

Next we headed up north, to see the #1 tourist attraction in Scotland. Can you guess? It's Ness! Loch Ness that is! Home of Nessie, mystery of the deep. But before we got to Loch Ness, we made a stop at Highland Audi to get a new wiper arm for our rental car, to replace the one that was about to fall off. Thanks to my newly acquired Garmin Nuvi GPS, we found the Audi place, no trouble! We love this thing! It will even talk to you - in about 30 different languages! And 5 or 6 different English accents - your choice! Well worth the investment: "Enter roundabout, then take the fourth exit..." Much easier than dealing with paper maps...and if you mess up and take the wrong exit, it doesn't get mad, it just says "recalculating...in 0.3 miles, turn right on A12"...very cool use of technology!

Garmin nuvi - Never Leave Home Without It!

So we got to Loch Ness, and hopped on a boat, for a little 60 minute tour of the lake. I took a few snapshots, but haven't found Nessie in any of them yet...can you see her????

"Loch Ness...Big Enough to Hold Every Human Being on Earth Three Times Over, and Still Have Enough Room Left Over For a Few Mysteries..."

Then Kim, (aka Wonder Woman) caught a rainbow, which is always fun...

My Bonny, Blue-E'yed Lassie...

We next drove down the west coast, through the Highlands, which was the funnest driving experience I think I've ever had - racing down a gentle slope, winding back and forth through mistly, lush, green hills, with rock and waterfalls springing forth out of nowhere. We were hoping to get to the Eilean Donan castle in time to take a few photos, on our way to our B&B that night on the Isle of Skye...and we couldn't have timed it better! We rounded a corner, and lo and behold, there was Eilean Donan, in all of it's Medieval Glory (with modern artificial lighting, of course!)

Eilean Donan Castle - Makes Even a Bad Photographer Look Good!

We stopped to take a few photos and take in the scenery, then made our way to Skye.

Castle Ruins - Isle Of Skye, Scotland

Spent the night on Skye, then some time touring Eilean Donan in the daytime, then headed down to our next destination: Dumfries. This was an area where Kim lived for several months. We knocked unannounced on the Jameses home, a couple Kim lived with on her mission for a few months (we didn't have their address or phone number, but managed to find their new house anyway - it's a small farm town - real small...) They were very happy for the surprise visit, and we spent a few hours talking to them, and even got treated to spaghetti dinner! Not exactly Scottish fare, but we'd had plenty of Scottish fare already, so it was a welcome change...

We then hopped in the car and went to see a couple more of Kim's friends from the mission. They all remembered her, and every one of them still had mementos that Kim had left behind - pretty incredible after 11 years! Unfortunately we were having such a great time, we forgot to get our camera out and take some photos...I guess our memories will have to suffice.

The next morning, we headed down to Preston, to attend the temple there, and another friend from Kim's mission, Kathy Dunachie, who works at the temple visitor housing facilities. We spent the afternoon and evening there.

Preston, England Temple

In the morning, we headed down to our next destination, Stratford-Upon-Avon, the birthplace of William Shakespeare...

Stratford-Upon-Avon, Warwickshire, UK

We spent a relaxing afternoon checking out the touristy spots, and soaking in the atmosphere. We went to a play that night, a performance of 12th Night by the Royal Shakespeare Company, and were pleasantly surprised to see that American actor John Lithgow was starring in the play!

Malvolio - John Lithgow

Lithgoe played the snooty, yellow-stockinged (cross-gartered) Malvolio, and absolutely stole the show! At one point in the performance, Malvolio throws a ring on the ground, to return it to a man who was wooing his employer. The ring bounced right off the stage, and landed next to a lady's foot in the front row. Without missing a beat, Lithgow improvised a way to retrieve the ring, without breaking character (flicking his head at the lady who grabbed it off the ground), and carried on with the scene:

MALVOLIO Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her will is, it should be so returned: (throws ring) if it be worth stooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.

(at this point Lithgoe threw a not-so-subtle glance at the lady who had 'found' it in the first row...)

The kind of scene you only get in a live setting. It was magic! Despite the overt statements the director was trying to make about homosexuality and cross-dressing (he cast 4 characters in opposite-genders, and the written program was filled with gay-friendly articles about Twelfth Night and whether Shakespeare was making some sort of a statement...) the play was very well done, and Lithgoe's performance alone was worth the price of admission.

We spent that night in Stratford, then made our way into London the next morning. Thankfully, it was a Saturday, so not too many people around the city, and no need to pay the "congestion fee" that everybody has to pay that drives into the heart of the city on weekdays. It's something like 8 pounds a day - or $16 USD, which is the same cost as two one-way subway tickets.

King's Cross Station. Luckily, Our Son Jordan Warned Us Not To Attempt Entering Platform 9 3/4, Pointing Out That We Were Inexperienced Muggles, And Would Surely Fail...

Speaking of subway tickets, London is really expensive! Maybe it was just the weak dollar, but everything was about twice as expensive as it seemed it should have been. The subway was 4 pounds one way, or $8. In Paris it was about 1.1 Euro, or $1.50. We really enjoyed London, but if I lived there I'd need a signficant pay raise! We only had about 24 hours to spend in London, so we did a quick whirlwind tour involving a bus and a boat, but did manage to visit a few places like the Tower Bridge, and the London Eye.

Tower Bridge

Look Kids! Big Ben, Parliament!

British Airways 'London Eye' Ride - We Took A Ride At Dusk
Incredible Views From Up There!

Big Ben at Dusk

I think Kim's favorite part of London though, was probably Westminster Bridge. Not because of the bridge, but because of the street vendor selling custom-made bent-metal thingys - she bought one for each of our kids for 4 pounds apiece. The guy made all three in under 5 minutes! At that rate he was making $300 USD per hour (or $600k / year!) That's assuming he can keep that rate up for 8 hours a day of course, which is unlikely...but he did have a pretty good crowd of buyers gathered round...

Magic Metal-Bending Westminster Bridge Dude...

Some Bendy Metal + A Pair of Needle-Nose Pliers = $600k / year...Not a Bad Gig!

Reuters Plaza, Canary Wharf Business District, London

Anyway, at this point I had to say goodbye to Kim and send her home to the kids so I could continue with my business trip in London and Paris the next week, but we had a great time, and I think Kim might even go to another play with me someday now!

There's a lot we didn't get to see. We focused mainly on Scotland this time. We'll have to go back and do London right next time... and/or Paris.

We missed our kids, but they didn't miss us much. They do hug us a lot more now though...I think they're a little worried I'll disappear for 16 days again...

Here's a few shots from Paris, which I didn't do properly, since I only had three working days there, and not much free time...

European "Smart Car". In America, this is called a 'Speed Bump'

The Louvre!



Venus Di Milo

Arc de Triomphe

Eiffel Tower at Night (with rotating giant inflated Rugby ball in the middle)


Who Knew Jazz Was So Big In Paris?
So Many Jazz Clubs, So Little Time...

Hammer Turkey

Sorry to interrupt the Clyde love, but I just had to interject . . .

In the spirit of Jared's "Super Salad" story, I was making Ethan a sandwich and asked him "Ham or Turkey?" and he gave me that four-year-old inquisitive look and asked "Mom, what's Hammer Turkey?" I believe he was rather excited at the possibility of eating something involving a hammer.

On a similar thread, we've been watching a video of Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe" that I picked up at the library. Ethan is fascinated. So much so that tonight as the missionaries were leaving after dinner he says "Mom, can I watch that dirty movie before bed?"

Clyde's Top 10

10. Out of 40 roommates in my single years, my parents were the by far the best: they expected the best of me without breathing down my neck. They treated me like an adult and loved me like a child . . . not to mention no rent and a full fridge.

10a. Leaving the house for work at least twice a week to find Dad out there just finishing up a wash and detail of my car.

9. Although he was nearly always right, I don't recall any "I told you so's" when I made a poor choice.

8. He helped me fix the first mailbox I hit.

8a. He flew to Florida to help me fix the last mailbox I hit.

7. He put up with me learning to play the violin (or was that just his hearing loss?)

6. Taught me the value of a comparison list. My husband makes fun of my "Clyde Lists" I still create--a spreadsheet with all the items and details for comparison.

6a. He taught me never to take myself too seriously (didn't last year's top ten lists spawn the hairdo pics?)

5. He never (well rarely) complained about my dinner concoctions--even if there just wasn't enough meat. He'd just brown up his own hamburger and pour it on his own.

4. Always the epitome of efficiency he would send "Dad Letters" while we were away at college. "Dear Brandon/Ryan/Jennifer/Justin" and your name would be highlighted along with any portions that applied just (or mostly) to you. He even wrote a letter to my roommate telling her to stop sitting in front of the open oven and put on a sweater for heavens sake.

3. He encouraged me to follow my dreams--even when that meant a degree in theatre.

2. He is relentlessly fair-minded. When I was unmarried at 24, he offered to write out a check equivalent to the cost of a wedding if at any point I decided I was unlikely to marry, or would rather just take the cash.

1. He just wants his kids to be happy, even at his own expense or at the risk of inserting his foot in mouth. When I was wedding dress shopping, I was disappointed to learn that the dress I returned to purchase had been sold. The only other contender looked great but was ridiculously expensive. He said to me "I'll buy you the expensive dress--we just don't want you to be ugly on your wedding day."

1a. Taught me the value of saving money (sometimes by good example sometimes by bad). I still remember Dad saying to me "If I'd realized at 25 the peace of mind of having half a year's salary in savings, I'd have done it years sooner and suffered less." It is thanks to Dad's teachings that I am fairly young, out of debt, have a relatively sizable savings account for a rainy day and have a great sense of inner peace.

I love you Dad. I could go on and on, but I suppose I should save some for next year.

10 Reasons Why Clyde is Cool

Ok, it was Dad's birthday yesterday and here is my new and improved list of Top Ten reasons why "Clyde is Cool" (a la David Letterman, didn't we do this last year?)

10. Growing up our Dad Clyde would regularly tip over a glass of water at the dinner table and the irony of life is that I have inherited this skill

9. Whenever Clyde forgets something you can always tell because about 5 to 10 minutes after you've left your previous place of destination he will snap his finger and that is our signal to ask "ok Dad, what did you forget?" I've inherited this practice as well

8. Clyde is a very prepared guy, especially when it comes to informational binders and preparing lessons or talks. I have received and created a few "Clyde Binders" and "Clyde Lessons/Talks" in my short 28 years of life. In fact I still have many binders and lessons/talks he gave me.

7. Clyde is a skilled lawn technician, and if you have ever seen a nicer lawn than Dad has maintained, it is probably taken care of by at least 10 or more illegal immigrants to attain the high standard of quality of Clyde the perfect lawn technician

6. Clyde has no middle name or initial. He's a simple guy on the surface, but behind that simple and to the point name, there are layers of complexity, skill and depth of character

5. Clyde is a died in the wool go-getter of a salesman although he has mellowed in recent years.

4. Of all the traits I inherited from Clyde, I think the craving for cookies is probably my least favorite.

3. Our Dad is a unique guy and he has taught us all that you don't really need to be rich to feel like a high roller, e.g. you can buy life vests and water skis and gear, even if you don't own a boat. You can keep your car perfectly vacuumed and clean and "protect your investment" whether you drive a lexus or a hyundai.

2. I'll never forget one Christmas when I was quite young and I was very distressed that I might not get a sega game system, but thanks to Clyde and his connections with folks at the North Pole, he could almost 100% guarantee me that I would get the gift I sought.

1. And last but not least, Clyde is a great example of a faithful and loving husband and father and in general he is a "good soldier" type of church member, faithfully performing his duties without needing any praise and without ever slackening his stride, and I think this is one of main reasons all us guys in the family have turned out so well, because we all look up to and admire the one, the only "The Clyde"...happy birthday Dad!

Love,
Jared, Holly and Isabella

Double Tow Truck

Haven't heard much from us backwoods-ers in awhile, so I thought I'd chime in. Ethan had a great day at camp the other week--camp didn't have such a great day. One morning as Ethan and his friend Acadia were playing out in the driveway I heard a loud crash. I ran out expecting to find our van had been rolled down the driveway, across the road, down the ravine and over the waterfall. Fortunately for us, that was not the case. Unfortunately for camp, a bus of campers had been returning from the horse barn and a truck had been speeding down the mountain collided right outside of Matt's office. Needless to say we spent quite a while checking out the incident from Matt's window. Then, we waited for the tow-truck and watched it haul off the vehicles. Ethan speculated to grandma that a "double-tow-truck" would be needed and proceeded to explain to her what that was. She asked for a picture. Unfortunately, just a single tow-truck arrived for double duty, but we got a picture of that anyway.

While we're all posting pics, here are a couple more of my boys at camp (oh, and the bright orange salamanders Elliot found in the brush).

The chaos before the final portrait!

Remember last Christmas? And the disastrous visit to Inkley's Portrait Studio? Here's a funny outtake. Maybe they should get some photographers that know how to do family portraits - like get the kids attention, take lots of shots, etc? Oh well, the final shot turned out OK, after a few headswaps and such...

A few shots of the kids...

Tacos?

Well, since we're posting photos...here's some dude that was selling tacos at the Mariners game last night. He looks eerily familiar...

Kunz Knewz from CA and WA (not western australia)

Some guy named "J. Kunz" painted these pictures and they were placed on this video game art website for this obscure game called "World of Warcrack" or something. I think this guy definitely has some "sweet skills" so I thought I would share them with you all.

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/wrath/art.xml?3 Here is the link to each as well.

This dude came to visit us this weekend. He says he's my brother or something and he didn't want any pictures taken of himself, but we got one when he wasn't looking while sitting watching a football game on the couch:

This weekend we took the kids to get their pictures taken. I decided I have had it with school pictures. Allison's last school picture was fuzzy and she was doing a pose in front of a fake school bus....hmm....needless to say, next year I will only be purchasing the class photo. Here are their pictures (if I can figure out how to attach them). Nama: hard copies are coming! We sure miss everyone out west. Brandon and I are thinking about coming out maybe after Christmas and before school starts up again.